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Since ancient times the chest hair has acted much like a chest antenna, allowing men to [communicate] with the cosmic force known as the man force. The more chest hairs a man has, the more at one he is with the man force. With every chest hair a man has increased chickdar (radar for lesbians, chick fights, and all threesome alumni), increased [appreciation] for bacon, better beard growing capability, and an [exponentially] increased love for espn. Chest hair was invented by Chuck Norris in the year 3046 BC.
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