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Dinuguan is an idea of Lapu-Lapu.

He saw Magellan's big muscles, along with the Spaniards' big cannons. Seeing the size of his enemies, Lapu-Lapu wanted to have a potent pre-battle meal to spike up the morale of his warriors.

Lapu-Lapu ordered his top tribe chefs to devise a meal which was dark as death, reminding his warriors of the blood bath which will happen next.

Dinuguan was then invented! Lapu-Lapu's warriors were told that this is a meal made out of the blood of rival warriors, which caused them to behave like a bunch of howling NFL quarterbacks with war paint striped on their cheeks as they ate it.

The rest is history.

Lapu-Lapu brought his most pissed off, biggest, baddest Mactan mothe--uck--s to stomp the sh-- out of the conquistadors'.

The Spaniards fought with their helmets, steel breastplates, swords, shields, muskets, blackpowder and crossbows but they were simply no match for the pure whoopa** which was unleashed by the Island natives who were only armed with G-strings, Krises, Bows, Arrows & Bamboo/wooden spears.

The Spaniards were at loss to the uselessness of their armors, as the natives kept murking them on the legs.

When Lapu-Lapu found Magellan, his first strike on him sent dozens and dozens of cutlasses, spears and scimitars raining upon him as the nearby warriors death showered Magellan to kingdom come.

Today, you can now relive this heroism by eating dinuguan. Bon Appétit! Breakfast of champions!

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