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An infamous chain of pet stores. They've reached popularity by having the employees be excessively rude to whoever enters a Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers store; the most common greeting being, "Get the fuck out of here, you idiot!" that is usually accompanied by being kicked out.

Some have managed to get past the rude employees to find that there is only one can of dog food in each store, and it costs a million dollars. Nobody has ever bought one.

Another calling card of Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers is that they fuck your pet if you ever go into the store. If you didn't bring your pet when going in, they'll find it and fuck it, wherever it is.

All Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers stores have a trademark of having a gigantic yellow sign accompanying each building that reads, "Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers" in big letters.

Even though Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has never made a profit, business is going great for them. Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has several million stores all over the country and is showing no signs of ever going out of business. They have Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings neighboring other Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers buildings they are doing so well. Every Star-Bucks coffee shop has at least five Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers surrounding them.

Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers has received several complaints and demands of changing their strategies and ethics, all to no avail. It seems that Shit-Ass Pet Fuckers will be around for decades longer.

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