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To be elected to the position of Pope in the Roman Catholic Church. Steps to become "Poped" if interested: 1. Become a Priest 2. Study a lot, especially abroad in Italy 3. Become a Bishop 4. Be nominated an Archbishop by the current Pope 5. Get into the College of Cardinals 6. Current Pope must die somehow 7. Be elected with a 2/3 majority by your fellow Cardinals 8. Know you are now the most pious MoFo out there, and POPE IT UP

Some DO's and DON'T's can't hurt either: DO be Catholic DO be very religious and pious DON'T violate your chastity DON'T make racy jokes from the pulpet DO avoid drinking too much of "the Blood of Christ" DO avoid 'encounters' with choir boys DON'T be seen in public listening to "Get Back" by Ludacris DON'T be a member of the KKK DO be wise, and preferably very old and wizened-looking DO enjoy the look of the Pope-Mobile and most importantly.... NEVER, under ANY circumstances, say "Goddamn it!"

Follow these simple steps and rules, and you will be the next Peter John Benedict XXX, or whatever you choose to be your name.

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