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You can't handle the truth! Son, we live on a site that has forums. And those forums have to be guarded by mods with ban buttons. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Paulie? We have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for FF2 and you curse the Hampurites. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that FF2's banishment, while tragic, probably saved revenue. And our existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, creates revenue...You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want us in the Hampur. You need us in the Hampur.

We use words like dootz, penile dysfunction, WLF...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline. We have neither the time nor the inclination to explain ourselves to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of Lolzas we provide, then questions the manner in which we provide it! We'd rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, we suggest you put on a zebra thong and stand a post. Either way, we don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!

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