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When your girl is sleeping, paint yourself black(if you're not already), put bunny ears on your girl. Then paint your balls like basketballs. Then dramatically jump on your dresser and then slam dunk jump off it towards your bed so as to splelunk your girl in the anal cave repeatedly. All while watching space jam. Do this until your basketball nuts are covered in chocolate doo doo butter, then slap her resoundingly in the mouth with them so she wakes up.
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