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The art of ah.. blankets.

Class 1- apprentice (not yet qualified to fully appreciate any blanket)

Class 2- amateur (a small grasp on blankets, a basic understanding of thread functions, has permission to sleep with a washcloth sized blanket)

Class 3- associate (is able to determine thread count under the guidance of a blanket over-seer, can now sleep with a throw rug)

Class 4- bachelor (has the ability determine thread count with a glance, usually within 50 threads, can sleep with a sheet and pillow)

Class 5- master (has mastered the art of blanketry, is allowed a full bed, equipped with blanket, down comforter, pillows, and sheets. can count any number of threads with a glance, and knows the amount of feathers in a down comforter immediately. must have spent at leas 10 years beneath a blanket at all times to achieve his/her masters in blanketry)

Class 6- professor (the teachers of all lesser blanketeers, knows all the secrets hidden within each thread count of each blanket, ever. can grow blankets from a single down feather, and each of his blankets, pillows, comforters etc. weave themselves. he lives within his blanket, never revealing himself to the world and or his colleges, his blanket is equipped with every necessity he should ever need, including shower, diapers, kitchen, fridge, food, garden, cows, and all cereal corporations)

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