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This is a rarer form of the more common douche bag. This subhuman species spends most of his time in the guise of a slacker. However, when provoked by moderate levels of conflict or [confrontation] he immediately enters a state of heightened douchiness. Unlike the more common douche bag, he completely overreacts in response to a situation and is blindly driven by his own social impotence. His unusually extreme reaction will often manifest as either violence or behavior similar to that of an individual with a severe mental illness, such as [schizophrenia]. As a general warning: In recent studies it has been shown than the onset of this condition tends to begin in males in their mid thirties. If you suspect that a male in your life has already begun this [transformation], it is recommended that you distance yourself from him at once. Keep in mind that this level of douchiness increases tenfold every year that it remains untreated.
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