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a dirty johan is an explicit sexual act which occurs when a man and a woman are engaged in intercourse, two German midgets (one named Johan) enter and defocate on the females chest and facial areas. Shortly after, the men smear the fecal matter into specific patterns, replicating a German adapatation of the Karma Sutra. After the traditional smearing and design, the German midget circle the female while chanting the German word for shit, or "shizer". To finalize the ceremonial tradition, the woman subsequently engages in intercourse with both the original male and both German midgets. It is mandated in German tradition that consumation of the tradition only occurs when the woman has all three parties participating in simultaneous penetration.
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