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A mad scientist war vet, who pretends to be senile so he can spurt sexual innuendos at completely unsuspecting victims. He lurks throughout the halls of your local high-school, plotting your destruction. He is zealous about cutting open you corpse to harvest your organs so he can continue to live his life preying on and torturing high-school students. If your worried about passing his class, you should be! He doesn't actually grade anything and plays wheel of fortune with himself in a dimension he created with his over stimulated brain to determine your grade. He will rant for countless hours on bull shit that your almost sure he completely made up. He also uses ridiculous phrases known as "cublyisms" to refer to students, phrases are and not limited to, butt-hooks, flop arounds, sacks of hammers, or just threatening to nail you to the wall with a big spike while you cry for your mommy. He also decides when it is necessary for you to hear about how all the useless shit you learn in his class applies to college. He also uses the phrase "Various In-sundry" which will most likely piss you off, Beware of the white hair.

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