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To whack your pud is to [choke the chicken], beat the meat, polish the pole, playing with your magic johnson, arm aerobics, bashing the bishop, be your own best friend, [check the plumbing], [shoot the sheriff], dilly with the willy, drain the sea monster, firing your musket, evacuating tatooine, spank the donkey, to wank, jack off, jerk it, yank it, pull it, eating grapes with a one-armed man, or masturbate.
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