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A [masturbatory] definition is a self-definition written by someone with a low self esteem or a huge ego. These definitions almost always exaggerate the attractiveness and/or sexual prowess of the subject. They are so named not because they involve a person actually jacking off to their definition (although they often do), but rather because, like masturbation itself, they serve no purpose other than satisfying the one person involved. [Urban Dictionary] is rife with these definitions, despite the "don't name your friends" policy, presumably because people who write [masturbatory] definitions have no friends.
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