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Westford Wives are Westford's answer to the Stepford Wife. Awash in white-middle-class guilt, you can spot them by the designer handbags, jeans worn with stilettos, expertly colored/coiffed hair, perfectly matching mani/pedi, and Dunkin's coffee in-hand.

Their [natural habitat] is the spa/salon and PTO meetings, but they are most often found driving around in their Lexii or designer minivans, incubating their perfect Gattaca-esque offspring at the local soccer or baseball field.

Westford Wives live to set up playdates for Junior, but only with other "[socially acceptable]" parents who will invite them to (or join them at) the right parties, dinners, and book discussion groups where their favorite pastime is gossiping venomously about non-Westford Wives.

These creatures regularly emit complaints about their husbands' six-figure salaries not being enough while simultaneously whining about them not being home more to help out around their 2,500 sq. ft. Plywood Palace.

They are the [quintessential] "circle queens".

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