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generally performed first thing in the [morning before] work starts and anyone is awake. sneak out to kitchen, turn lights on, start kettle boiling so as to make noise to act as the alibi proving you are [in the kitchen], sneak very softly to the toilet an crank the shit outta yourself, sneak back out to kitchen then walk loudly back to toilet and piss loudly to give you a [legitimate] reason to be flushing toilet.
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