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In order for this title to apply two pre-existing conditions must exist:

A: The individual in question must weigh no less than 300lbs and have trouble doing daily activities (breathing walking etc.) B: The individual must consistently eat tiny meals and condescendingly provide nutrition tips to others.

This deadly combination result in table banter that will include some or all of the following:

“You shouldn’t eat that”, “That’s not good for you” “I wouldn’t do that”

“That’s why I eat….”, “This is too much” (referring to 2 cucumber slices with salt and pepper)

“I make healthy choices” (and eat them) “These are good for you”

Behind the scenes and on weekends, these individuals usually eat entire immigrant (not accounted for) families and attempt to roll in the grisly greasy leftovers. Their bodies’ heavy with foreign flesh, they pass into a food coma that results in additional fat accumulation. Once this state of exteme gluttony has passed they roll into a swimming pool for easy cleaning ready to criticize others again.

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