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A speed talker, thinker, and user. An individual that speaks in contradictory parables. Nonsense has become the soul purpose of his/her existence. This individual is known for his/her themeless rhetoric and undeserved sense of self-accomplishment. This ROFL individual has horrible interaction with women, thus reaffirming the previously stated. Incoherence and garble are two of three primary skills that allow this individual to function on a daily basis. A Bartolozzi can be spotted at any "bro" function within a 200 square mile radius of Modesto, CA. This individual prides him/herself in maintaining an unkempt appearance; smelling of garlic, LOL, macaroni, and wet cloth. Bartolozzi stems from the Latin word "praetendere," which means "pretentious." If seen, remain calm and do NOT reply to his/her advances, i.e. "om nom nom."
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