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Main Line Moms are overattentive, overinvolved, pampered, prissy JAP-spawning machines. They'll fight tooth and nail for their kids to get undeserved As and not just because they do all their school projects for them. They hire tutors for $80/hour when their kids get an A-, shuttle their kids and their lacrosse equipment and golden retrievers around in their Landrovers, and [know] all the gossip about their kids' classmates before they do. Main Line moms peak at college admissions and Bar/Bat Mitzvah seasons. They tread the line between [passive-aggressive] and aggressive-aggressive and if you're skeptical, try Nordstrom Petites during the semi-annual sale or getting a [parking spot] in Suburban Square. They adore gays but they lock their car doors when they see a black person. A true Main Line Mom keeps an [immaculate] home and garden, but only because of the coterie of immigrant gardeners, house-cleaners, and babysitters they employ. Main Line moms know that they deserve the world and so do their kids. And they won't let you forget it.

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