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West Florence High School gets its name from an old wooden warship used by the Confederacy during the Civil War. In the school's early days there were no walls. Classrooms within each pod cantained marijuana plants, allowing students to sleep in hammocks crafted from Richard Simmons back hair. This failed and walls were added later. The traffic getting to West Florence is anal clenching. During the early 1970's the school was ranked #1 in the nation for drug use. Principal "The Drunk" is plastered everyday before noon and can often be found grillin' patties on her George Foreman Grill in the mall area. If one is thinking about going to West, One should rethink it. Its overcrowdednessess has many students contemplating becoming crack whores. As freshman students attend classes dressed as different types of Pokémon. It is also advised that students wear blue shirts on Wednesday and yellow shirts on Friday; it is tradition after all. The school is located across the street from a Walmart. Good deals there if you have coupns.

West even has Advanced Placement classes such as: Fecal Anthropology, Dave Chappelle-onomics, and Intro. to Ditch Digging. West does very well in sports (sometimes); the track and X-country teams run like oiled gazelles and the Golf team screams so loud the birds rattle out of their trees. The Varsity football team is known to be "angrier than ten screaming midgets" after their upsetting 1-10 season. The school mascot is Sloth off the Goonies.

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