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A language spoken by the Xhiffica tribe of Upper Thryxhrmichy. Pronunciation is difficult for English speakers, mostly due to the use of dental clicks and guttural sounds needed to express the language properly.

Several people have choked to death trying to pronounce the name of the language alone. It is therefore advised by the UK home office to refrain from speaking the language unless absolutely necessary.

Basic everyday words and phrases

Lezhvdik - Hello Studdjydd em 'a taddlrikz? - How are you? Syuddjydd 'a besz wukulxuck? - How is your wife? Kem be bi rykurvfar treddtmok? - What is your name? Dregridd meky meky kakugdazh? - Where is the nearest train station?

Rhaddtsick feg fy clargukz? - What's that smell? Sikurlichy 'a befreg thrantekz? - What is for dinner? Smetlick 'a twenner chivlidd - Onions disagree with me Crazhscik - Doctor Zifnik - A burning sensation felt in the left foot Chozhkjik - A medical condition defined as the right armpit smelling worse than the left

Smiddjmok - Beach Faddklich - The Swedish as a race Gikuwbfart - Trainspotter Bledsichy - A type of unlicenced taxi Chidpnakz - Backhander Ledhyok - A musical instrument made from cat dung

Dafregcomfestil - Dafregcomfestil Gozhfart cef kmiddchyzh - Use a condom Batlichy - shotgun wedding Dozhscidh - Chlamydia Phiddfik - A horse's cock that is as wide as it is long Trakubwadh - A type of excessive sweating caused by extreme arousal towards ginger people

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