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A variant on the famous "Schrodinger's Cat" thought exercise, which questions the living or dead status of a cat locked in a box with a randomly-released toxic gas.

In a Schrodinger's Crap situation, a form of uncertainty principle is applied to certain types of bowel movements which defy pre-emergence classification. It is impossible to accurately predict their state until after it has emerged, by which point it is too late.

Parameters: 1. Something in your rectum is trying to get out. 2. It will be a solid, or a liquid, or a gas. And no other. (No plasmas, etc.) 3. If its final state is gaseous, you can liberate it with minimal concern. 4. If it is either liquid or solid, it will require further steps for successful disposal.

The paradox lies in the fact that the exact state of a Schrodinger's Crap cannot be accurately deduced before opening the system to observation. But opening the system to observation is fatal to the system's continued existence, as the toxic gas is already released. Followed to its logical extreme, the Schrodinger's Crap theory posits that the contents of the system are ALL OF: a solid, a liquid, and a gas - simultaneously.

(Note: the word "uncertainty" also has the word "taint" in it. Coincidence? I think not.)

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