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[Abbreviation] of "Upstate Standards Disorder." This [unfortunate] syndrome develops when a young male spends his adolescence in [Upstate New York]. His standards in women are lowered to a frightening degree. Symptoms include the use of phrases like "Oh my god, I want her bod" in reference to girls who are doughy, pale and lack any redeeming features. The only known cures are: 1. Moving out of the Upstate area 2. Mercy execution via firing squad
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