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Tallahassee - a/k/a "Tallahooterville" - is noted for its traffic jams during football season, drunk driving, Hooters contests, and tourists who come in from other southern states to contest presidential elections. Stay & experience the southern hospitality & be greeted Saturday mornings by a knock on your door from religious wingnuts who'll attempt to convert you and then, should you politely decline, condemn to the firey pits of hell. The newer State Capitol Building sits "proudly" at the bottom of Apalachee Parkway as one of the most phallic structures on the planet (replete with testi-like strucures, one to each side of the well, um. let's just call it the tallest, "Enzyte"-like building ever erected downtown). The restaurants that have palatable fare can be counted on half a hand, and once you're done going to the museum (which will take all of an hour it's so small), you won't have much else to do but eat, sigh, and avoid getting swarmed by mosquitos - the "state bird" (a joke that you'll hear at least 10x from the locals), although the more noteworthy bird appears to be the one tourists flip while driving away after they've discovered it was a complete waste of their free time to ever set foot in the place.

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