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A dark and powerful mole spell was placed on Mole long long ago. This curse ensures that no matter how hard he tries, shes not gonna suck his dick. Mole's curse is the potent energy that ensures george's law is always maintained. The curse has manifested itself physically in the form of Starbucks-Mole has made so many coffee runs there for pussy without success that it has taken on the spell's evil attributes. The only way to break the curse and save Mole now is to destroy all Starbucks forever, which as we all know is impossible.
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