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Noun: The Mystical Portal is a large trailor with metal wings and a long plastic rigged drainage pipe for a neck that supports its large metal head. Mystical portals are usually found in wooded areas secluded from the city. Mystical Portals have been known to mate with 1986 GMC Astro Vans. Mystical Portals can be very [territorial] and are best tamed with road cones and pitchforks. Mystical Portals are rare nowadays [because they can] be scrapped for their precious metals at local junk yards. Although Mystical Portals are harmless, any human caught by authorities in, on, or around a Mystical Portal could be punished due to uncertainties of the potential power that the Mystical Portal may or may not have. Anyone that has came in contact or has seen a Mystical Portal is urged to contact "The Keepers of the Portal" [immediately] as documenting their whereabouts are necessary for the continued survival of Mystical Portals.
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