Customize - Urban Dictionary Store

Pro Customization

Create unique products with your own words and definitions

Preview

Personalize Your Design

Your Word

Your Definition

NOTE TO STAFF & WEBMASTER: [The definition] below is best viewed in the "Unicode" version of the font "Courier New" (to see all of the symbols such as the middle-dot "·", schwa "ə", etc. Please do whatever you think necessary to make it viewable for all on your website. [Thanks in advance].

{Definition}
Reut·ers Cramp (Roit'·ərz-Krămp) NOUN:

1. The sudden and accute optic, occular-motor and cerebral pain (sometimes, with attendant seizures) resulting from reading too many news articles, viewing too many news videos or both, by the news agency Reuters. Usually [complicated] by the factor of:

The sheer number of articles (in rapid succession) over a short span of time that mention themes, categories or situations (such as "bail-out") that have been over-done and drilled-into-the-ground so often (in the last umpteen weeks/months/years) as to cause instant nausea.

Or (in the case of one isolated incident -- known to THIS lexicographer) reading said news articles less-than 30 minutes after eating 9+ pieces of syrup-drenched baklava.

NOTE: Potential warning signs may include, but are not limitted to:

Drooling, profuse enuresis (sweating,) [sticky hands] and face with a desire to drink milk or inject insulin and a Herbert Lom -like eye twitch. Post-trauma effects many times include Reader's Block.

WARNING: Reuters Cramp may also happen with the reading of other, non-related, news agencies articles; and may in fact, not [even] be related to Reuters.

{based-on the stem name "Thomson Reuters" -- "...the world's leading source of intelligent information for businesses and [professionals]." Although Reuters was first Identified as the offending source; it was quickly realized that it just SEEMED this way due to it's notoriously accurate and continuously up-to-date reporting.
The most likely actual causes are the journalistic professions and news moguls that purvey hyped-up-tripe and over-sensationalized, easily-digestible, candy-coated mega-doses of non-sensical minutia; delivered ad infinitum, ad nauseum by sycophantic reporters, "ratings-whores" producers and the illustious major news [corporations] that they represent; in a non-stop, streaming frontal-lobe-assault of the [general public]. However, this is JUST speculation at this time.}

Text fits

Menu

Pro Customization

Preview

Personalize Your Design

Shopping Assistant