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Basically, a crap book.  The main character of this horrific series is the not-too-feminist Bella Swan, who claims that should Edward McSparklepants (her very own twu luv) die, she would also take her own life. Apparently, she can't live without him. I mean, way to be independent. Plus, that's kind of the basic premise of all four books. Edward and Bella spend their time getting out of supposedly exciting situations, but while you're reading these, you'll want them to be over. And you're probably angry at all the purple prose that has made its way into this thing, and if you have to read about Edward's 'marble, beautiful, cold' body again, you will punch something. Violently.   Unfortunately, this book is wildly popular because Bella has no personality at all so you can step into her shoes. Everyone claims to want an Edward, but only few realize he's really a controlling jerk. He never lets Bella make any of the decisions, (nor should she, since she seems to have no common sense) and even takes the engine out of her car so she couldn't go see her best friend. Plus, he's a vampire (who fucking sparkles in the sun like Tinkerbell) and a 106 year old virgin, which is just plain scary. It's like Edward was completely asexual until Bella arrived, which is odd. He's battling the thirst for her blood or something like that. Whatever. They still have no chemistry whatsoever, and all they do is whine to each other about how it's dangerous for them to be together.  The plot is massively cliched, and done terribly.   So, um. It sucks. A lot. Please, spare your brain and don't read it.

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