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A middle age to elderly person so obsessed with their own dull, boring life that it leads others nearby to purposly overdose on heroin just to get through the one-way conversation. Often self-centered and oblivious to how miserable they make life for those around them. Willing to give medical, educational, relationship, cooking, dieting and financial advice based on a high school education from the 60's. Moderetly to severly overweight and in denial about the amount of calories contained in the 2 king size candy bars and 3 grease-ridden fast food meals eaten daily. Commonly uses the expression "long story short" and does not even come close to living up to the promise. Parent to the most vile offspring but blindingly unaware of their lack of tack or manners in every situation. Abuses any form of power given in any situation. Willing and ready to play the blame-game at any time. Overall a well-rounded parasite to the community they live in.
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