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A tradition that takes place in, you guessed it - march! The tradition however is not the typical bracketology-induced, acc/big east/big 10/pac 10/sec douchebaggery that everyone talks about around this time. March Madness is a time to get to know yourself. Physically for the most part but that doesn't mean that you can simply ignore the mental aspects! March 1 - jerk it once. March 2 - spank it twice. March 3 - Yes. show your boy some love three times. Etc, etc, etc. This is serious. Don't underestimate yourself. Don't overestimate yourself. Just know that no ones hands besides yours can be used. A girl cannot be present for the evil deed(s) to count. Porn is suggested. A creative imagination is required. Tips: lube and celery (raises sperm count!!) Caution: blisters may occur. Self-loathing will occur. Mental illness is definitely a possibility for those of you who actually make it to March 10 and beyond. Good luck. Godspeed. Damn Proud =)
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