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An old man who teaches Spanish at an intermediate level. Hair grows out his ears and nose and everywhere. Kerch is very old and prefers cheesy sayings such as "Bite the bullet", "Minus participation", "Kick you in the you-know-what". Kerches have white guinea pigs named Snowball and don't live in the same state that it teaches in. Includes a very low, monotone voice that drills into your head the various preterite forms of dormir.
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