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A culture based upon a music that steals partial or entire songs shamelessly, and then dubs over them with some random twat self-aggrandising or [pretending] they are held down in some manner or other, when in fact they are rolling in money.

Its [followers] can be seen posturing around British and Irish town centres, usually in gangs as they are shite at one-on-one [confrontation], and too cowardly to walk alone. The hip-hop aficionado can be identified by its mangled, locally-accented appropriations of what they have heard on MTV Base. They are also almost entirely white.

Some people have had the temerity to suggest hip-hop has had credibility in music. These people, from their angled caps to their MF Doom Nikes, are liars, and, like all of hip-hop, are [trying to] sell you a lifestyle that you don't relate to, yet vaguely want because your life sucks, or so they'd have you believe.

Even more shameful is the claim that hip-hop sprang from reggae. This is punishable by enforced self-flagellation in civilised society.

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