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Joshua … unable to hold his true to his beliefs\desires, incapable of fulfilling his inner most wants because he is too afraid to go after it, possesses so much self doubt he can hardly see who he is anymore, believes he can hold true to his words but his actions prove he can not, can never take what he deserves or is entitled to, lacks personal drive, works very hard at appearing one way while all along feeling he doesn’t measure up, lacks the balls to stand his ground, no balls = girlish behavior = pansy = Joshua
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