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(n.) TO describe michael whitehead, is to list all words reminiscent of him. such as: dick ,used2 be fat,idiot,doofass,dumfuck,shithead...once one always one. He is a swimmer, and he preferably lives in florida, although that is not required. to be a michael whitehead, you must 1.] PMS like a bitch. even though you are a hot man. 2.] treat the girl you secretly like but would never admit it like shitt. 3.] be incredibly hot, but previously fat. 4.] come off as a nice guy, when you are really a conniving dickface. 5.] break the only girl to ever probably truly understand you's heart. 6.] be a really skilled swimmer and sailer. 7.] be a liar. and have no balls when it comes to doing stuff about girls. and lastly, always be a dick. if you are not a dick, then you are not michael whitehead. he is the john tucker of florida. if you see a michael whitehead, don't run. don't call molesters anonymous. instead, flirt. shamelessly. and then break his heart. you will be glad you did ;] he is one that does not let go easily, so make sure he's hooked.

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