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America's only true enemy, these bears are unstoppable in every sense of the word. Well, ALMOST any sense. By that I mean the one man alone, or should I say, the two fists together that can defeat this Armored AIDS menace. This man is Woodrow Wilson, America's 28th president. Back at ye olde peace conference in France or whatever, this discovery was made. The conference was stormed by Bears of the Armored AIDS variety, and everyone fled for their lives, except for brave Woodrow. He then developed his [legendary] [double punch] technique [on the fly], he followed his instincts and aimed for what he knew was the Bear's weak-spot. Right in his Armored AIDS throat! Realizing that these bears would never cease to pursue him, he concocted his unstoppable 14-point plan. This plan consisted of punching these bears in their 14 vital points. All of which are the throat. That would be, let's see, hmmm.... 7 double punches folks!!!
At a lowly [insignificant] peace conference, a new threat surfaced. And from its Armored AIDS ashes, a hero arose.

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