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All-Star Houston Astros outfielder/first baseman. Amazing player. Once hit a baseball out of the ballpark. While playing in the Astrodome. Also known as the Big Puma. Has a career OPS of one billion. Can out-A-Rod A-Rod (and, in this context, to "A-Rod" means to be a really good hitter, not be a really shitty clutch player). He can replace "Casey" in "Casey at the Bat," only he wouldn't strike out if he were the subject of the poem.
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