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I'm in love (yippee!!!) and I hate psychiatrists (fucking nut jobs, all of them, ALL OF THEM), who are out to control the world (trembles for a few moments) and drop hydrogen bombs on everybody (BIG ones, yeahhh).  Hey, have you seen my girlfriend?  (BOINNNGGG!!)  I'm wild!  You're cool, too!  (Pulls hair out, laughs.)  No, seriously?  Oh.  (Grows sullen.)  Oh.  (Grows REALLY sullen.)  Oh.  Why would you want to do that to me?  No, seriously, why would you want to do that to me?  Why?  Why?  Why would you want to do that to me?  (Jumps up on couch, pulls dramatic stance, couch falls backward, he crawls up to kneel on the front of the seat.)  They've hated me ever since I played a veteran of the Great Galactic War between the Thetans and the Engrammatised Ones.  (Goes boggle-eyed, cackles, shrieks ...,)  We're all going to be bigger than Oprah!  (YAY!)  And it makes me sick, you know that?  Why isn't everyone looking at me RIGHT NOW?  And you know what?  I'm NOT GAY!!!  Mimi!  Ha!  Nicole!  Ha!  Penelope!  Ha!  Katie, aww, KATIIEEE!!!  Ha-haaaaaaaaaaaa!  Here, I can lick my own balls, seriously.  Just watch me ... (Licks own balls, audience stampede out of the auditorium.)

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