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A little bit about us "Pensacola Beach" kids
We are locals. Respect us, bitches. We mess with Tourists. WE DONT LIKE TOURISTS, but we do put up with them ('cuz you pay for our summer jobs!)
We don't, however put up with their crazy ass driving, which is why most of us are waving the bird driving down 98.
We party hard. Give us a handle of Morgan, Bottle of Jager, or TONS of Brewski's (Within an Hour we'll have to go on another beer run.) and we are content to lie in the sun for hours.
We live here. It's more than just the "Emerald Coast"it's the "[REDNECK RIVERIA]"! We have suffered through numerous hurricanes (had margarita parties throughout them all), but we're still here.
We are BIGGER and BETTER than Laguna Beach, with more DRAMA and better tans.
We wear rainbows year round.
And don't even think of making fun of Jimmy Buffet
no matter how cheesy his lyrics are.
It's not a vacationing spot for us, it's home.
We don't live "on" the beach.
We OWN it.
We know if your lookin' for anyone on any given summer day, you go to 18th.
We ALL belong to the "[Redneck Yacht Club]". We OWN wave runners, we don't rent them, and we don't haul ass through the no wake zones on them. No, Wings is not an outlet mall or the local "surf shop"
it's just a way to launder Pakistani drug money. We have true "Innerlight".
We do make fun of your HIDEOUS tan lines
and outrageous skanky clothing
(no, [you're not] that cute with third degree burns). Yes, [vacation sex] will give you syphilis and you will die.
We know most guys from Georgia or Tennessee are here to tap a local girl,
but chances are
they won't.
We are the kids brave enough
to throw bonfires and keggers in a 6ft hole [on the beach].
We have been bred to chug funnels
from the top of yachts or from the top of our parent's condo
and that's how we like it.
You Think you're cool cause you visit and have one good week of partying
[That's how we roll] ALL YEAR 'ROUND!

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