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a scale used to define where you are dating wise 5 sticky eyes (Be careful using this. I’ve still got some complete twit following me around like a seeing-eye dog.)  1 holding hands  2 arm around  3 goodnight kiss  4 kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath (What you need for this is a sad mate who’s got a watch but no boyfriend.)  4.5 hand snogging (I really don’t want to go into this. Ask Jas.)  5 open mouth kissing  6 tongues  6.5 ear snogging  6.75 neck nuzzling  7 upper body fondling – outdoors  8 upper body fondling – indoors (in bed)  Virtual number 8 (When your upper body is not actually being fondled in reality, but you know that it is in your snoggees head.)   9 below waist activity (or bwa) (Apparently this can include flashing your pants. Don’t blame me. Ask Jules.)  10 the full monty (Jas and I were in the room when Dad was watching the news and the newscaster said, “Tonight the Prime Minister has reached Number 10.” And Jas and I had a laughing spaz to end all laughing spazzes.)

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