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TEAM: A popular & successful American Major League Baseball franchise based in New York City. HISTORY: Won 1/4 of World Series Championships in the 20th century. CURRENT: In the 21st century, they seem utterly unable to muster together anything competitive in the post-season, despite a dream-team lineup with a salary doubling & tripling the loser teams that beat them. FANS: The goddamnedest bunch of ugly, smelly, ignorant, knuckle-dragging, wife-beating, booger-eating, sewer-dwelling, all-around general bastards. They incessantly mutter random numbers like 1918 and 26. Responding w/ the number 2004 usually shuts them up. If not, find a nearby stick. You can either beat them with it or throw it and they'll go chase it.
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