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One of the 'Founding Fathers', Ben Franklin was a well-known author, statesman, poet, musician, and inventor. Franklin was responsible for some of the most important features of the Constitution. Some of his accomplishments include:  * Inventor of Floam  * Paula Abdul's first dance instructor  * Amish Rake Fighting (scored 27 kills, 83 maims in first season)  * Known to place 'whoopee cushions' under Madison's seat during meetings  * Porked 1275 women during his lifetime  * Was able to leap tall buildings with a single bound  * Often dressed as a pregnant nun and walked through the streets shouting, "Come and get it, fellas!"  * Once walked into Congress after a night of heavy drinking and opened fire with his AK-47  * Liked to play with puppies  * Held regular staring contests with his neighbors  * Tried to have Hillary Clinton drawn and quartered  * Had girly-hippy hair  * Advertises on the $100.00 bill with a frowny face  * Prone to depression and extreme violence  * A Taoist-anarchist  * Hated tuna casserole

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