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Dreary Erie, Mistake on the Lake.  If [you say] you love Erie, then you are a fake.  LOL!  The city of Erie, which is located in the state of Pennsylvania, is the most [depressing], bass ackwards city that I know.  Don't trust the tourist brochures, you can make anything look good by using glossy paper.

Jobs:  There are none unless you count telemarketing, cleaning toilets at one of Nick Scott's "Enterprises", selling crack, robbing banks, or [flipping burgers].

Culture:  LOL!  Unless you count getting rock bands and rappers that were popular 15-20 years ago to perform at the Civic Center, culture, there is none.  Erie is a hick town striving to be a hick city.

Buying a House:  FORCLOSURE!

Renting an Apartment:  Unaffordable with the $7.15-$8/hr that they pay around here.

Weather:  Winter and August.

Typical Erie Residents:  Lower class Erieites tend to be overweight, out of style & miserable, but they live in [the real world].

"Upper class" Erieites tend to have a fake perkiness and a fake "shine" about them.  They resemble pod people.

Erie Mentality:  "The government just granted us $50 Million. Let's waste it on a pie in the sky project that will never pan out!"

Erie's [Golden Rule]:  NEVER SAY ANYTHING BAD ABOUT ERIE.  IF YOU DON'T HAVE A FAKE POSITIVE ATTITUDE ABOUT ERIE 24/7/365  YOU WILL BE DENOUNCED A TRAITOR.

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