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Faux-hickoid scion of a wealthy New England family transplanted to Texas, where his daddy, a future U.S. president, worked in the awl bidness. Served as governor of Texas. Was appointed to the U.S. presidency on December 12, 2000, by the Supreme Court; took office on January 20, 2001; proceeded to start a war in Iraq and wreck the U.S. economy. Scheduled to be replaced on January 20, 2009, unless he declares himself "dictator" or "decider"; in that case, all bets are off.
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