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[Chuck Norris] has never seen a punch coming. He has only seen men adjust their shoulder slightly before he roundhouse kicks them in their face.

Surprising Chuck Norris has never been in a fight, only slaughters.

Chuck Norris choose the last pope

Sharks don't bite people when Chuck Norris goes for a swim.

A Bear can smell a drop of blood 2 miles away. Chuck Norris can smell fear 5.

Norris made history in 1997 when he was the first Westerner in the documented history of Tae Kwon Do to be given the rank of 8th Degree Black Belt [Grand Master]. In 2017 he will make history again when kicks everybodys ass... AT THE SAME TIME.

Chuck Norris doesn't carry atm cards, he only goes to registers and says CREDIT.

When Chuck Norris was born he gave the doctor a smack on the ass. The doctor still cry's till this day.

When Chuck Norris was a child he never asked WHY?

Chuck Norris didn't live through [the cold war]. He only put on and extra leather vest.

Chuck Norris is [the only] person that sees Shaq as a cute puppy.

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