Skip to main content
Dictionary
Store
Blog
World
Help
Advertise
Chat
System Status
Information Collection Notice
Trademark Concerns
reCAPTCHA Privacy
Terms of Service
reCAPTCHA Terms
Privacy Policy
Accessibility
Report a Bug
Data Request
Contact Us
Security
DMCA
© 1999–2026 Urban Dictionary ®
Mugs
Tees
Hoodies
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Preview
Personalize Your Design
Your Word
Your Definition
This profession is commonly misconstrued to be related to a worthwhile human existence, one consisting of preventing harm and saving the lives of our fellow human beings. This idea is entirely wrong. The lifeguard can be found sitting, sleeping, laying down, or staring randomly at any pool in the country. Upon close study of this creature, it becomes obvious that while the lifeguard is "scanning" the pool he is actually looking for any sign of a 1000 mile meteor, fireball, thunder, horseman, alien, black hole, and pretty much any sign indicating the end of the world. This can be due to the extreme suicidal nature of every lifeguard. In conclusion, all lifeguards would like everyone to know that anyone entering the pool is subject to immediate hatred and a plethora of death wishes/curses by the lifeguard. Lifeguard Doctrine: person other than lifeguard + pool = suicide
Text fits
Save
Cancel