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Traffiction is a fabricated or embellished story detailing a chaotic scene of gridlock conceived and delivered in an effort to explain one’s tardiness or absence from work / a party / your wedding / etc. Good things to reference when telling a traffictional story: 1. Man on fire (include details like, “waving his arms wildly”) 2. Godzilla 3. Broken-down bus of cheerleaders 4. Volcanic eruption 5. Scene from Armageddon (just don’t mention Bruce Willis) 6. Sanjaya
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