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60 above zero: Floridians turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.  50 above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Duluth sunbathe.  40 above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.  32 above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Bemidji gets thicker.  20 above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.  15 above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.  Zero: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.  10 below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico . People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.  25 below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.  40 below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.  100 below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.  460 below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) People in Minnesota start saying..."Cold 'nuff fer ya?"  500 below zero: Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.

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