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An accurate, yet surprisingly concise, method of pinpointing the precise attractiveness of a female.  First, identify the specimen on a simple 1-20 scale (1 being a monkey after a house fire, 20 being Teri Hatcher in "The New Adventures of Superman".) Having done this, match her to the following piece-derived notation:  20: Piece de la resistance 19: War and Piece 18: Masterpiece 14-17: Piece (original) 12-13: Codpiece 1-11: n/a  Consider these vertical ratings. Alongside these, one might add a horizontal rating to note a certain flavour of bird or piece-related individual.  Greenpiece: Ecologically-minded or hygenically-challenged fluff. Ringpiece: She's married.  Piece of cake: slag. Hair piece: nice hair. Pity the face. Mantel piece: Show the parents. Don't let her speak. Three piece suite: Three of them. At the same time. All at once.   Piecekeeper: Male owner. Piecemeal: Expensive rooting attempt. Piece negotiations: "I always masturbate thinking of you." and such necessary rubbish.

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