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A Chelwood is a rare species of the indigenous ape family. These primates traditionally have very small genitals and are known to commonly scratch, not their genitals, but rather the forefront of their most likely hair covered chest. It is a common known fact that one may contract Swetmanitis by coming in contact with a Chelwood’s testicular region. This disease affects a few number of people per year due to the fact that Chelwoods are rarely seen naked. But if one should come across an unclothed Chelwood it is best to make much noise so as to frighten the Chelwood into retreat. If this is ineffective, then the next course of action should be to run in the opposite direction while screaming, “Damnit Chelwood!”
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