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The Shame is a hard animal to classify. While many of its features resembly roughly those of a human, its [intelligence] is [approximately] that of a dog. For this reason, scientists have decided to classify it as a chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes). The Shame has large callouses on its hands because of its constant use of its calculator. It will attend Miami [University] assuming the school doesn't discover its debated status. It aspires to one day be its sister.
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