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Noun - pronounced "HABZ SIN-drohm"

A psychological condition found almost exclusively in 95% of Montreal Canadiens fans. Symptoms usually appear the second the Habs take a lead in a best-of-seven playoff series, triggering immediate fantasies about Next Round opponents while declaring the current opponent “finished,” “fraudulent,” or “completely irrelevant.” Common phrases include: “this series is over,” “Habs in 5”, “we’re going to the Cup Final,” “this team is a joke,” and the nationally recognized diagnosis trigger: “Ça sent la coupe.”

Advanced stages of the condition include chanting “Olé Olé” halfway through the second period while protecting a fragile two-goal lead, launching toilet paper and beer cans at opposing fans, and confidently dropping $2,500+ on playoff tickets before watching their team get folded at the Bell Centre and quietly leaving with 8 minutes left.

For clarity, this illness has nothing to do with the actual team — only the fanbase. Passionate? Absolutely. Delusional? Professionally. Patients often remain fully convinced a Stanley Cup parade is imminent while potholes swallow half the city outside.

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