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The Wrath of Kali is said to manifest in those who partake in Indian cuisine, whether consumed in a restaurant or procured from a takeaway, particularly when the dish has been lavishly seasoned with spices or other disagreeable ingredients. Typically occurring several hours after consumption, this affliction may present symptoms ranging from persistent flatulence to explosive diarrhoea. Those afflicted are strongly advised to seek solitude, or at the very least remain within close proximity to a lavatory, for the protection of themselves and others. Kali, once invoked, will usually sustain this torment for up to twenty-four hours before finally relenting.
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